i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
