erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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