mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
