bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
