is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
operation harelip BJ is a go
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The power of my boobs compel you
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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