I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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