It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
did i just pee glitter
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
