I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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