Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
