Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
