So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
