Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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