i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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