No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
