so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
