So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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