Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
