The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
