If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
