zippers are such a cool invention
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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