Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
