The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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