I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
