She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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