Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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