Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
