Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
