this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
