i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
