It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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