People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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