Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
