quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
