he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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