Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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