In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
