from now on my penis is your penis
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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