there was a trapeze. enough said
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
