I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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