your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
