There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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