just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
