Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
