I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
