I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
