No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
