Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
