haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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