I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
