i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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